


Behind the Door

by ghostlygarage (orphan_account)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Bathrooms, Drug Use, Guns, Insanity, possible suicide attempts, what
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-01 23:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11497116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ghostlygarage
Summary: He came here for a reason. He just couldn't remember what that reason was.





	Behind the Door

**Author's Note:**

> my thought process put into a story

Something about this made Gerard feel so sneaky. It also made his heart feel like someone shot him in the chest. No matter what, he had to stay behind the door. He couldn't do anything but stay behind the door. 

“Heh, who would've thought it would be like this?” Gerard chuckled, holding his friend in his hand. He sat on the edge of somebody’s tub. God only knows whose it was. He didn't even know how his friend got there, or why his friend was so cold. Why his friend was so shiny…

“Gerard, please open up.” Gerard heard somebody say. The voice was smooth and blurred together and quiet and loud and pleasestopspeakingtome- “What are you doing? I'm worried.”

“No need to worry! My friend is here with me!” Gerard laughed, feeling his face heat up with the laughter and urges to cry and vomit and maybe pee a little. Good thing he was in a bathroom. 

“What? Gee, who's in there?” the person called, beating on the door. That was a scary sound. Loud like footsteps. Gerard didn't like to be chased. He didn't like loud sounds. 

Gerard hesitated. Who was he with? Where was he again? He spaced out for a little bit, bouncing his leg as he stared at the wiggling door knob. His head was heavy and light and dizzy but still. He felt alive. 

This was what all those movies about finding happiness were about. 

“Gee?” The voice sounded scared. That made Gerard scared. His heart rate picked up even more than it had before, thudding in his ears. Fuck, that was loud, too! Panic kicked in and the thudding got louder. He stood, putting a hand over his chest. 

“I think I'm dying!” he gasped, setting his friend down on the closed toilet seat. 

“What?” the voice shouted. “Open the door now!” The banging got louder and fuck, Gerard was crying and he was stumbling to the ground and his chest was aching. Was he dying? Probably. 

That wasn't calming at all. 

Choked sobs passed Gerard’s lips as he tried to pick himself up. He wanted to puke. He wanted to go to sleep. He wanted to find Frank. Frank…

“Where's Frank?” he asked the voice behind the door that he had to stay behind. He forgot why. Maybe it was a quest… like in a video game! Gerard smiled to himself as he twisted himself up onto his knees. 

“I'm here, Gee. Please open the door.” the voice- Frank- said. Gerand accepted the voice’s claim. Then it kicked in: this was just a voice. He could feel and touch and see Frank. He could not see this voice. This was not Frank. 

“But you're not Frank. You… You… Imposter!” Gerard cackled dumbly, his temples suddenly aching. He clutched his head, digging his palms into the sides of his head as he groaned. “Aw, shit.” 

“It is me. Open the door.” 

“Begone, foul beast. You're not Frank. Frank is an image and you are a sound and I am not stupid.” Gerard rambled, the pain fading away. He started to laugh, falling back down and staring up at the ceiling. His laughter increased and got louder, making his belly ache and his face tingle. 

The voice behind the door was yelling something, but the ceiling was just so funny. It was dancing up there, but staying perfectly still. After a while, his laughter died down and he just stared. 

He decided to play a game where he looked at a certain part of the ceiling, looked away, and looked back to try to find where he was looking previously. He played it a lot as a kid. He was a lonely kid. 

But he wasn't lonely now. He had the voice and his cold friend. Cold friend… 

“Hey!” Gerard gasped, sitting up and scooting to grab his friend off the toilet seat. “You didn't hear the joke.” 

The cold friend didn't say anything, but Gerard don't mind. Quiet people were fun. “I don't remember the joke.” 

Was there ever a joke? Gerard was confused now. 

“Who are you talking to? Please open the door.” the voice desperately pleaded. 

Gerard looked at the jiggling door knob. Suddenly, loud music began to play. It felt far away, but it was loud. He just kinda knew. It was probably some stupid song, Gerard assumed. He had his own music. It was just something Mikey told him earlier that was being replayed over and over again in his head. 

Who's Mikey? Who is Gerard? 

Cold friend was starting to feel heavy. He didn't want to hold cold friend anymore. He put down his friend and immediately stood up. He found his hand on the door knob and it was opening, the lock automatically clicking free. His mind was blank and he felt lightheaded as he looked out and saw some dude. 

He looked like Frank. Upon further inspection, it was Frank. Cool. “Hey, where have you been? Someone was trying to-” 

“What the fuck?” Frank was saying. 

“I know, right?” Gerard was laughing for no reason as Frank was pushing him aside and walking into the bathroom. “Wow, rude.” 

“Is this a- holy shit, where did you get a fucking gun?” Frank gasped, picking up Gerard’s friend. 

Gerard’s eyes hurt. “My eyes hurt. That's cool.” Frank ignored him and awkwardly put the gun in the bath tub. 

“Come on, we're going back to the van.” Frank snapped, grabbing Gerard by the flesh on the back of his arm. He was being dragged through a house full of dancing people and bad music. Suddenly they were outside and Gerard was being pushed into a van. 

“You could at least offer me some candy.” Gerard laughed. His eyes were blurring and Frank was climbing into the van and the door was being shut and it was dark outside and-

Frank was saying stuff but Gerard couldn't hear him. He didn't try to hear him. He kept thinking about candy and vans and where his friend went. He wanted his friend back. 

“Were you going to shoot yourself?” he heard Frank ask weakly. Gerard was silent, processing the words. He had a friend that shot herself. It was sad. He didn't go to her funeral because it was in Nevada and he hadn't spoken to her in like, two years, so he just didn't make an effort. Wow, so mean. So selfish. Selfish. Shellfish. She sells seashells by the sea shore. 

“Well?” 

“Probably.” Gerard shrugged absently. It's like his brain and body were doing two different things at the same time. That's crazy. “I want some juice.” 

“Gerard, please.” Frank sighed impatiently. Gerard felt arms wrap around him and he started screaming. 

“Fuck, get the fuck off me- what the fuck, stop!” Gerard panicked, slapping and pushing the arms away. Somebody just tried to murder him! His skin was crawling and he felt repulsed. He turned to face Frank, who seemed taken aback. Did he try to kill Gerard? 

“I was just gonna hug you, dude.” 

Gerard just realised tears were streaming down his face and he was shaking and sobbing into his hands. “Where's my friend? I want my friend.” he whimpered. A hand hesitantly rubbed his back and he sighed softly. 

“What friend?” Frank murmured quietly, running his blunt nails gently along Gerard’s t-shirt covered spine. He didn't remember. He was scared. He was confused. He wanted to go home. 

“I don't know.” 

“It's okay. You should just… try to sleep, alright?” Frank cooed, patting Gerard’s back. The older man nodded and leaned against the van window. Frank got out of the van and Gerard was alone. 

As usual, haha.


End file.
